Hugs

CindyH over at Huckleberries asked an question that has been on my mind this weekend, "Do you hug people you don't know well?" I was a luncheon on Friday and greeted many of my friends with hugs or an open ended squeeze. My friend who I was meeting there watched from our saved seats with a slight smile. When I joined her she said "I can't take you anywhere." After the luncheon a sweet man I have only spoken to maybe a dozen time came over to tell me his wife had passed at Christmas time. Without even thinking about it, I pushed myself out of my seat and came around the table to hug him. Afterwards, I was speaking with my friend about the moment and she asked me how well did I know the grieving husband and I said not very well. She was stunned and we had a discussion about hugging strangers. She admitted she reluctant to hug people especially men she does not know well. I was unable to explain adequately how I determine when to hug and when not to hug. I mumbled something about the icky factor and then quickly changed the subject.

However, this conversation has stuck with me all weekend and I have even spoke with my family about said topic. My husband shared the fact that he is often jealous about how freely I hug and has never seen me withhold a hug. I tried to defend the icky factor but boxed myself into a corner. So what is the icky factor. It has to do with how my initial contact with an individual. It is pretty easy if a man hits on me, they receive no additional response and will be lucky that if I will even attempt another conversation with them. If a woman gives me the up and down look like we are some kind of competition, I don't waste my time. And finally, if a person makes my warning lights go off, such as that innate ability we have to know when we are in danger or any physical contact is unwelcome, I will keep my space.

To get back to the grieving husband, I admitted that I did not even think or hesitate when he shared with me, I reacted. I felt the moment. So do I hug people I don't know well? The answer is yes and without hesitation.

My New Year's resolutions

I have missed posting on my own blog this last year. For personal and professional reasons, I pulled the plug on my old blog. In fact, I gave up any kind of journal writing for a whole year. I don't remember if I a made the choice or if life made the choice but I missed documenting some pretty amazing moments in my life. It is has been my habit the last decade to read my journal and/or blog postings on the last day of the year. I laugh, I cry, and I groan. But most importantly, I set goals for myself based on what I have achieved and not wanting to repeat mistakes.

I never realized how much I appreciated the time of reflection and relied on those rants and midnight delusional postings. Now I am sitting here and trying to organize the dysfunctional, faulty filing system that makes up my memory. I hate the fact that I am so adept at fooling myself and remembering things as they should have been than how they occurred. I am normally not prone to self delusional and I really do enjoy a good laugh at my own expense but I have always had my journal to remind me and slap me with reality.

So my first new year's resolution is to take the time to write and reflect on the little moments that make up one's life or more precisely my life. I will begin my blog once more. My second resolution is to never wear lime green again or a white bra under a black sweater when being photographed. Unfortunately, I do have a record of that mistake with copies outside of my control. And my final resolution is inspired by the girl scout song "Make new Friends." The song starts with this phrase Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver, the other is gold. I want to take time to remember my friends and maybe make time for a few new ones.

Happy New Year

Sparky